I see you.
No one else may, but I do.
I know you’ve been up nights, pacing, or lying there counting breaths.
I see you wondering if that cough is a sign,
Taking your temperature just to be appeased.
I see you running to the arms of a stranger despite the risks
Because the one you love is being smart, safe
but you need a hug, a fuck, to be held.
Rendering that professed love void.
I see you suffering, as we all are.
I see you hiding that suffering as we all do.
I see you posting inspirational quotes instead of
Emoting the truth
I see you white knuckling as the carriage takes you
Closer and closer, up up up to the pinnacle
After which, on the plummet, you can scream with permission
Scream with terror under the guise
of a roller coaster ride
I see you seeing your friends sick and dying
Questioning the horror of dying an unlived, unseen, uncelebrated life
I see you.
I see you trying to pivot
Bound up in the effort to be normal
You are not normal
You are not loved
Enough
You are in a place where you can never be loved
Enough
To let the seeing ones in.
To let someone, see you
I see you
Every day sporadically
Slip into a puddle of grief and sorriw
Tears
Sobbing
Randomly
