Wednesday, September 28, 2016


I was born very young
Entirely too young
And I have been waiting 
my entire life 
to be precisely here
I have caught up, slowed down
The bubble almost center in the level
The pebble before the avalanche
All plates spinning with whispered welcoming
It's the moment of hanging over the canyon
Blink, blink, wave
Wiley I am, go, LET GO, Let's go
Surrender to the undertow

I'm awake, I can breathe
Fitting my body, MY body
See how this book cradles perfectly in my hand
This fork rests perfectly in my mouth
This hand encourages from the small of my back
Resistance is a currency with no value
I care enough
And dare to say 24 hours are enough
7 days are more than enough
A lifetime will always have been enough

With nothing, no thing, left undone


I’m just coming’ to join ye
with my cup o tea 
and hope I don’t bug ye none
It’s been a rough day ya see
I’m so scared and
I don’t know, I just don’t know if I can do it
I’ve gotta quit drinking, but the cigarettes are worse
they say I have COPD 
and I just don’t know I just don’t know
It’s just such a place ya know
I can’t quit one wit out the other and I don’t want to let go of both…

But look it me 
I hope I’m not interruptin
am I interruption your group
what group is this 
Spirituality group
Ah perfect
Spiritual people help me 
I’m very spiritual but not so religious
but I do go to mass with my friend kenny and one time I went to the church the nun came by with the basket, you know
I asked her straight out: is this for me to take some out or you betting I’ll be putting something in? Haha
She said to come see her after the mass so I did
you know raised in catholic school you don’t disobey a nun or you’d be in right trouble
So I met her and she asked where ya from and I said Galway and she said Cork
And from then on I called her the corker. She liked that.
And she helped to get me into the building where I live now. I wasn’t old enough but she pulled some strings.
There’s an elevator which is grand, and I have it fixed up ok, ok for me but I don’t have much company on account of the plastic chairs and the smoking
But I use the phone to connect with people, I call my sister every Sunday and she yells at me says I can tell you’re smoking, I can hear it thru the phone…

She came to new york in her teens and worked for a woman and I came for her wedding and never went back.
I worked for a woman then too – a woman who let me sit in her kitchen and smoke a cigarette a few times a day, she didn’t smoke but she let me and we would talk and I would tell stories and I would smoke and she would listen.
We built a trust that way. Ya don’t trust anyone who can’t laugh or make you laugh so we laughed a lot. And I never stole from her. and She was good to me.
She really liked the one about the Swearing Priest... haha

Ya know ya gotta laugh or you’ll just die from the heartache.


New York is dying to me now 
or I am dying to it
Or neither
I have somewhere else to be and New York of all places will go on 
but there will be an imprint however faint
maybe a watermark or shallow impression
Like a date stamp from an ink thirsty pad
left behind in an ancient library book
There is no death
Just change
Just different
Just birth 
always birth
Everything is healing
We don’t go without for long
a person will sleep in the room where I once slept
The parents will employ another babysitter
Someone else will buy the produce from my corner store

Someone takes the vacant bed at the hospital
Some young person will accept the job of the nurse that quit
because she was yelled at
Someone yelled at her
for the last time

What a gift is the grump
they have no idea
in living and dying we are for each other 
each with equal roles living, dying, leaving, coming
one gets up from a table at a restaurant and one takes that seat wile it is still warm
We are all warming the seat

And enjoying the warm seat


I’m sure you have a lot more interesting people to visit than me.
Oh you don’t?
Well then, fix me up some more crystal light and take a seat. 
You’re not a nun are ya?
My dad was a minister in Texas where I’m from.
That was weird.
I was on a cruise by myself, my partner’s too old to come with me. I’m going to be 84.
I look young.
Drank so much I poisoned myself and when we docked in NY I had to come here. 
The plan from here?
I’ll get out tomorrow I think and head home and into a rehab, you know?
You do?
Oh. you have experience with stuff like that?
oh. Huh.
So I’ll go back to Texas.
I’m going to be 84.

I think I’ll be ok.


I’d wager
in my lifetime
I’ve passed up hundreds
oranges, clementines and tangerines

because I don’t like getting sticky.